Wednesday, July 13, 2016

The Reviews Are In!

One week ago my debut book - Pussy Planet and Other Endearing Tales - was released on Amazon, and the reviews are trickling in! Make no mistake, though, it's a healthy trickle--no prostate issues here. Sometimes it seems to come out of two holes at once, but I digress.

Anyway, if you haven't yet, check it out! Pussy Planet is available in both paperback and for Kindle. But don't take my word for it, take THESE random assholes' words for it--

"I loved reading this! I lost myself entirely in it. It's raw, brutally honest, hilarious, and absolutely relatable. I was very impressed with how seemingly effortless it was for the author to share her innermost thoughts and feelings, and with a sense of humor and wit that I find to be unparalleled. When I wasn't laughing, I was grieving with her. She definitely has a unique and captivating voice, and I really hope to read more from her in the future."

"I loved this book. Well written, honest and witty. Her sense of humor is irreverent and refreshing. The one serious essay "Losing Jack" shows the bond a girl has with her father, and perhaps explains much of her outlook which is on display in the other stories. As the father of a daughter, I related to this story especially."

"I don't usually go for non fiction but a friend recommended this and I absolutely loved it. In the tradition of David Sedaris and Chelsea Handler, Kimmy Dee's hilariously skewed (and deliciously vulgar) collection of essays will make you Lol."

"I had such fun reading this. Kimmy Dee is not only hysterically funny, she has one of the most unique comedic voices I've ever come across-- wry, self-effacing, and sarcastic.And she's fearless. The essays in this collection run the gamut of her life experiences, but she's not afraid to show the reader her real self, and her most embarrassing and personal moments.
What really blew me away, though, were the occasional moments of seriousness. "Losing Jack" is one of the most heart-breaking things I've ever read on the subject of loss, as Kimmy chronicles the experience of living through her dad's eventual losing battle with cancer. It's deeply profound and personal and moving.
But the majority of PUSSY PLANET is comedy culled from real life, unflinching, uncompromising, and compulsively readable. I highly recommend it."

So please, check out my all-new Pussy Planet, and leave your own review on Amazon and/or Goodreads if your hands aren't otherwise occupied. Lowly writers such as myself rely on word of mouth and reviews to get our filth out into the world, so if you like it, please say something! Thank you!


Kimmy Dee

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Welcome to Pussy Planet!!!

Hey, remember when I told you bitches that I wrote a book? Well hold on to your barf bags, because Pussy Planet and Other Endearing Tales is now available in both paperback and e-book formats on Amazon!

I'd like to thank everyone that has supported this dung heap of a blog over the last five years! This book is partially your fault, for giving me the confidence to crap out an entire volume of brain farts and pitched bitches. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

So, without further adoo-doo, here's the pertinent poop!

This is Kimmy Dee. This is Kimmy Dee's brain. You've been warned.

By turns hysterically filthy and heartbreakingly sincere, PUSSY PLANET chronicles snapshots of the life of an irreverent woman. From an unintentionally foul-mouthed offspring to failed attempts at masturbation to dealing with an anxiety disorder to the loss of a parent, PUSSY PLANET is an insightful and ridiculously funny collection of personal essays from a writer with a totally unique-- and screwed-up-- view of the world. 

This is Kimmy Dee's PUSSY PLANET, we're only along for the ride. 

Click here to purchase the e-book from Amazon; or

click here to order the paperback. It's basically a roll of toilet paper with my heart and soul printed all over it -- what a deal!

Pussy Planet and Other Endearing Tales is also available to read FOR FREE for Kindle Unlimited subscribers, and is offered in non-U.S. markets. If you're having trouble finding it, comment on this post and I'll see if I can help.

Thank you all for sticking with  me -- I hope you enjoy the ride.



Sunday, June 26, 2016

I Wrote a Book, Bitches!

Two years ago I decided I could, should, and damn well fucking would write a book.

My writing had been stalled by a paralyzing level of self doubt for quite some time, but when the idea occurred to me to write a hilarious collection of personal essays, I was suddenly filled with confidence. My brilliant book would be filled with funny reflections on my clumsy life, with just the right amount of dick and fart jokes sprinkled in, and its completion would provide the jump start I needed to revive my career.

I eagerly began brainstorming, making lists of every mildly interesting thing that I had ever done. I quickly poured out a couple of essays, and started a handful more. I was going to have this book put together, start to finish, within a few short months!

Then, the hypomanic episode ended.


The euphoric, productive, not-at-all-destructive hypomanic episode is the golden unicorn of the bipolar world; one tends to doubt the mythical state even exists, at least until it stabs you in the crotch and gallops its happy ass far, far away.

I was left to rot in the ditch of despair, which is actually a pretty comfortable place once you get used to it. But very little writing is done there. I shelved the book idea, and resumed my usual brooding.
Every few months though, when my shitty brain gave me a teeny tiny bit of motivation to put actual effort into something other than merely existing, my mind went back to the book. I couldn’t just let it go. But it was so damn intimidating. A whole book? I hadn't been able to even put together a coherent blog post. Still I picked away at it, working on it in between bouts of soul crushing depression, which I’m pretty sure is how most great literature is forged.

At some point I got brave enough to share what little progress I had made with my good friend (and an actual real live author, omg!!!) Heath Lowrance, and instead of blocking me on Facebook and changing his name, he actively encouraged my continued assault against the English language. 

Finally, in January of this year, the matter became settled: I would finish this motherfucker.

One problem I encountered was that, despite the relatively little practice I'd gotten in, I had grown substantially as a writer since manically hammering out those first few pieces. My fart jokes seemed so ill-fitting and childish; I was a writer now, damn it. I didn’t need my old poop parlor tricks to make this turd float; I had graduated to more sophisticated humor sources… like vaginas. Seriously, if you’re not into jokes about the old penis fly trap, you might want to skip this one. But I hope you won’t.

Since I’ve been pretty much nonexistent as a writer for the last couple of years, this book will (hopefully) serve as a sort of reintroduction. And, in typically Kimmy Dee fashion, I give up way too much information on the first date. You’ll see.

Although it took a lot longer than expected, I'm incredibly proud of this book. I poured a piece of my soul onto every page, so be mindful to wash your hands after handling it. 

So, without further adoo-doo (okay, so I haven’t grown that much), I present to you the ACTUAL COVER for my ACTUAL BOOK, which will be released REALLY FUCKING SOON in both print and e-book format:

I hope you all love it as much as I do!

I’d like to wish a very special Turd Mountain thank you to Heath Lowrance, who not only cracked the whip on me (not like that, pervs) to get this fucker done, but also edited the damn thing; to Ron Warren, for the kickass, very Kimmyish cover, and to Troy Lambert, for handling the whole “how do I make this 200 page document into a book” thing. You all deserve some of the blame errr credit for making PUSSY PLANET a reality. Don’t worry, I won’t tell your moms.

Watch here and/or my Facebook page for release information, and please consider buying a copy or twelve! All proceeds from Pussy Planet will go toward future cat food purchases. My pussy army thanks you in advance.

-Kimmy Dee