Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Flush the Female Race

The original title of this blog post was Why the GOP *REALLY* Hates Women, but this is NOT a political post; it’s simply a “why all women suck and should be executed” post. So, nothing to get all uppity about.

Calm your tits, turd twat; this isn’t about you. Well, maybe a little.
I changed it so I wouldn’t have to deal with any unnecessary political backlash over my argument for gendercide, but that title fit like a tailor-made tampon. After all, the top 5 talking points on any renowned Republican’s agenda always include stopping terrorists and controlling what is done with those wily vaginas. (Yes, I have one too, and it’s fantastic—albeit a little rebellious.)

What even the nuttiest of the right-wing nutjobs are missing though is that the two things go together like sausage and snatch… or sausage and sausage, or snatch and snatch. Seriously, do whatever feels right with your junk, as long as no one gets hurt. Unless of course your partner LIKES getting hurt, and honestly, has a little hair pulling ever harmed anyone? Here I go, digressing. It’s a chick thing. Hormones, and shit.

Anyway, there’s a legitimate reason for the government to regulate our lady bits, even if they haven’t figured it out yet.  Cut them some slack, they’re a bit slow. But this is a fact: women harbor terrorists. Sure, not ALL women. But all women capable of shooting babies out of their boomboxes do.

You see, we are armed with suicide-bombing eggs; eggs that make irrational demands for sperm, starting when we’re about 12 years old, and when we don’t feed them their penis poison they take out defenseless uterine linings  (and our sanity) as they make their messy exit from the world.

The REAL Axis of Evil
So just feed them the sperm, right? Fuck that. WE DON’T NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS. Every now and then those cum-craving criminals get what they’re asking for; but instead of showing mercy they lay waste to everything within a fetus-foot, including the all-evil vagina.

Plus, all those full grown plane jacking, train bombing, Congress sitting (wait, what?) terrorists came from the same damn place: vaginas. Unless, of course, they were born via C-Section. Or like that weird Walking Dead birth… which btw I quit watching that shit after that episode because once they killed off that whiny whore I knew anything further would be a disappointment.  What, am I digressing again? Shut up and grab me my damn wine, I’ve got a full-blown barbaric attack on my little Lady Liberty to deal with here.

And maybe some Milk Duds.